Memoirs of a failed supervillain

I'm a nerd in Prada glasses

As a sort of peace pipe for silently hating him while he hogs my bed, I start to pet Fletch, and he farts on my pillow

Haven’t spoken to the ex in weeks and he just sends me this message:

“Yu really wouldn’t sneak me in right now?” (I used to sneak him in my house when we wanted to mess around.) 

REALLY?! Fuck you. 

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